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taoiu1pqda
Wysłany: Pią 14:44, 04 Lip 2014
Temat postu:
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September 10th,
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, deputy magistrate Su Can Rhodes of secretary of county Party committee, county Zhang Guangquan, vice chairman of the NPC Standing Committee, was county Party committee office, organs, urban and Rural Construction Committee, the Planning Bureau and other departments responsible person to Dianjiang high school, visited the school staff, they send a holiday blessing.
report from our correspondent (reporter Qiu Chengquan Liu Juan Zhu Jinran Jean Liu Xue) yesterday is the twenty-ninth teacher's day, Rhodes of secretary of county Party committee to my county primary and secondary schools,
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, visit to teachers and educators,
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, to extend holiday greetings and blessings to them.
September 9th, the Standing Committee of the county committee,
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, deputy magistrate Yang Gang, county Party Committee Standing Committee,
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, the people's armed forces minister Wu Kexian, vice chairman of CPPCC Zhuo wavelet rate County Bureau of Commerce,
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, science and technology, industrial and commercial bureau, county hospital and other departments responsible person,
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, Gui Xi primary school to visit to struggle in the teaching teachers, sent to a holiday for their blessing.
The
and Rhodes said,
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, educators,
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, quietly,
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, and selfless devotion, made outstanding contributions to the development of educational undertakings in our county, county Party committee, county government is satisfied. Rhodes points out, is closely related to the educational development of Dianjiang and the county economic development,
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, along with the economic development of our county into the fast lane, education will also weigh Zhen Xiongfeng, new breakthrough. Rhodes hope, the educators should make oneself an example, take the lead, with more enthusiasm, and more hard work, more noble morality, dedication, to teach, to cultivate more excellent socialist builders and successors. Dianjiang middle school staff should cooperate with absolute sincerity, close cooperation, to pull together in times of trouble,
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, self-disciplined, pragmatic endeavour, toward a higher goal. To implement the classification guidance to students,
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, at the same time the cultivation of students' innovation ability to impart knowledge and practical ability. To establish and perfect the teacher introduction and training system, strengthening the professional quality, upgrading the quality of teachers, improve the ability and level of teaching. At the same time,
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, to strengthen the management of the school, investigation and security risks, strengthen the campus patrol duty system,
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, ensure the safety of teachers and students.
forum, Dianjiang middle school is responsible for reporting the teaching work of the school to carry out the situation, the school teachers represent about education work experience and insights. Rhodes on behalf of the county Party committee,
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, county people's Congress, the county government, county people's Political Consultative Conference and the 970000 people to Dianjiang middle school and the majority of staff holiday greetings and good wishes.
in Gui Xi primary school,
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, Yang Gang visited the campus environment, a detailed understanding of the situation of teaching and teaching staff of the school,
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, and had a cordial conversation with teachers. Yang Gang said, primary school education is very important,
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, the school should highlight the "Chi" culture on the construction of campus culture, help students establish lofty ideals. Yang Gang hope, the school (or
2013-09-11 09:39:21 source: Dianjiang news, I have something to say (data loading...) advertising content around the end of the ----------------------> code of advertising;
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. Activities started in 5 yea
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annual main story: Qian Suchun had to forget about one's own into the water saved 21 lives, once more than 2800 ml of blood donation, blood donation to the limit of age, she opened a "money eldest sister to help hotline", really do not move, she will own body donation, she always want to do good, she is a a nearly 60 years of ordinary women, she is a volunteer, police representatives, appearance of coordinators, cultural market obligations of supervisors, inspectors, the police station was compulsory adjuster with multiple identities, mediation success rate of more than 95%. Her greatest wish is to do good all one's life "".
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Wysłany: Nie 14:59, 08 Gru 2013
Temat postu:
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Luojiang Economic Development District, Quanzhou City Public Security Bureau Quangang branch of Criminal Investigation Brigade police successfully captured Zhang Moubin. he drinks with friends in a Quangang area hotel. they have several children around,
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iqsaianad
Wysłany: Nie 1:48, 08 Gru 2013
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Wysłany: Śro 12:13, 04 Gru 2013
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's Millennium kiss
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Wu Hui
cherish
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But I know you or not! For you! those unhappy things all forgotten, so these days I maybe not right, think through the dark gray sky looking for another piece to belong to own brilliant. picked up the wandering.
qwirudida
Wysłany: Pią 8:41, 29 Lis 2013
Temat postu:
report points out, "the destructive force of Sandy" the great beyond people's expectation,
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in new network on 31 October,
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, super storm "Sandy" 29, began to attack the United States Eastern region, killing at least 50 people were killed, most by a falling tree hit victims killed, because "Sandy" is continuing onward to the inland areas of the United States of America, expected the death toll may continue to rise.
hurricane "Sandy" in the United States Eastern standard time on October 29th night 8 pm Beijing time 30 days morning 8 when Xu landed on the coast of New Jersey,
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, the United States of america."Sandy" a wild storms hit the east coast of the United States, but also to the partial region brought heavy snow weather.Chart for October 30th, local time, West Virginia, an ambulance was trapped in the snow.
The
"Sandy" brought bad weather caused the United States 17 states about 8200000 electricity customers, including New York nearly 2000000 users in the dark.The water in Manhattan is serious, a large area power outage.In the "Sandy" landing in the east of the United States locations -- the Atlantic City, more than 80% of the area was flooded.
content is by network Abstract selected news network for your presentation.
hurricane "Sandy" in the United States Eastern standard time on October 29th night 8 pm Beijing time 30 days morning 8 when Xu landed on the coast of New Jersey, the United States of america."Sandy" a wild storms hit the east coast of the United States, but also to the partial region brought heavy snow weather.Figure for the local time on October 30th, Mali,
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, West Lanzhou, heavy snow caused traffic.
of the disaster economic loss, international economic Consultants Co IHS global insight estimates of losses of $20000000000, loss of business in 10000000000 to $30000000000, or $50000000000 total.Another company in Boston Consultants Co AIR Worldwide said the risks,
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the United States President Obama announced the 30 worst-hit New York, New Jersey as a "major disaster" area,
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The girl died 8 years mother not be interred listen to God to make the dead come back to life to del
The man to
"
Chinese-American singer-songwriter Leehom Wang for the first time disclosed that he has a girlfriend.
The superstar said in his micro blog that his girlfriend is named Li Jinglei, 27 years old, and now studies in Columbia.
“I’m very lucky to meet a girl who can hold hands and enjoy the future with me. She’s not a person in showbiz, so you don’t know her. And I don’t want you to know her by other means… My dad and mom love her, hope you love her too,” happy Wang said.
The 37-year-old singer also uploaded a photo of him and his girlfriend.
Wang is currently based in Taiwan. Formally trained at the Eastman School of Music, Williams College and Berklee College of Music, his musical style is known for fusing Chinese elements, such as Beijing opera, with hip-hop and R&B. He also acted in several popular films, including Ang Lee's Lust, Caution and Jackie Chan's Little Big Soldier.
qwirudida
Wysłany: Pon 5:50, 11 Lis 2013
Temat postu:
construction, as the general secretary of the party, he called his pen. Mao Zedong positive lessons.
such as Zhu Yuanzhang, aroused the people's revolt, yixieqianli. after returning home from drinking himself: "I drink is the crime? Farming is not feel it has "a personal arsenal", are also quite harsh: "" New Youth "each period,
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, smiled and said: "I won't leave my little ming to go, he is two years older than I am,
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when 66 years old of Mao Zedong specialized Shaoshan obeisances once "old woman",
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, restore the balance of ecosystem, have been successfully conducted Su Bei,
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or tell a lie! According to the June 22,
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or write articles to commemorate the people did not think that he should write his real views. as the cultural revolution against a large number of people with severe persecution,
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Before and after the Chinese residents killed more than 2000 people. there are plans to remove away the severity, once again let the war maniacs do as one pleases. if from the national military capability,
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The Secretary said
is in accordance wi
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The Third Plenum of the 18th Central Committee of the Communist Party of China may be a good opportunity to push the country's ambitious urbanization bid - a major effort to change the development model of the world's second-largest economy.
The CPC's new leadership designated urbanization as a growth point of the economy and called for quality and new urbanization at its economic work conference in December, after China's exports were adversely affected by the lingering global crisis.
China's urbanization ratio hit 52.57 percent in 2012, increasing almost 1 percentage point each year from 17.9 percent in 1978. The per capita gross domestic product was about $6,102 in 2012. The steady and rapid urbanization seems sustainable for awhile along with the economic growth.
iqsaianad
Wysłany: Śro 8:00, 09 Paź 2013
Temat postu:
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The energy that I refer to here is called Qi and it is what circulates throughout your entire body in every moment. It is arguable that the best results can be obtained by including both weight training and aerobics.
zrhdpgvin
Wysłany: Wto 16:28, 24 Wrz 2013
Temat postu:
Li will next month visited Guangdong: opposition members then to words and deeds of self-discipline
2009-04-30 09:03:34  ,
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Jasper announced 5 months led the Legislature under the two Committee visited guangdong. In Hongkong on 30 April, and the president of the Legislative Council Ceng Yucheng will lead the Legislative Council Committee for economic affairs and Environment Committee of 35 members, including 6 No Home Return Permit opposition lawmakers,
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, 15 next month 18 days to 3 days to visit guangdong. Ceng Yucheng expresses, investigation was to help members of the Legislative Council, added to the Pearl River Delta economic development and environmental protection work understanding,
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Wen Wei Po reported, Jasper in legislation announced yesterday,
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because this is the Legislative Council the first group to the mainland, vice governor of Guangdong Province and contact with them to invite, he served as director of the will.
6 members will receive a one-time Home Return Permit
he said, the two committee in earlier request, Guangdong provincial authorities will arrange tours to visit logistics,
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asked 6 opposition members not to permit, more requirements are not according to established arrange round-trip, Ceng Yucheng, he has been the situation informed the mainland authorities,
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Jasper members know what to believe
he said, know to have non committee members to participate in the tour: "this is very understanding, but this time to take the first step, the future hope to have more contact." If there are other affairs committee to put forward to the mainland to visit the exchange, he will try to arrange.
some opposition lawmakers advance, will put forward the political appeal to officials visited Guangdong, Jasper believe, Senator clear trip,
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on the spot at the nose straight.
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When you first form your plan for a trade, you should consider what price or price range you think the stock is likely to reach. This is often called a target price, which gives some traders the wrong impression.
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Several months ago, I read an article about a 22 year old, successful young lady who died a premature death in a plane crash. The more I read this article,
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zrhdpgvin
Wysłany: Pon 12:47, 16 Wrz 2013
Temat postu:
Sales of equity-linked funds,
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According to financial-market sources Thursday,
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The government and financial firms had expected that KELF��s sales would reach at least W2 trillion, but the results came in at only one-200th of that amount.
Sluggish sales of the funds have also backfired. Of the 10 investment trust management firms that planned to operate the funds at the stock market, seven gave up the fund operation and returned a combined W4.4 billion of the fund to the subscribers,
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Before we get to know each other any further, I think it best to get one of the best-kept secrets about me out in the open right away: I failed grade 10 math class. It was not really due to my inability to learn. It had more to do with my ability to dream away my time, thinking about my future. I had so many questions. How would I work my life out? How would I reach all of my goals? Would I really have to master geometry to be fulfilled?
Long story short, my mother agreed to stop with the tears and wailing and leave my bedroom if I agreed to at least unwrap and try to decipher the first assignment.
Mary and Frank are standing side by side both facing east. Frank turns north one degree away from Mary to face northeast. If Mary and Frank each walk in a straight direction for five miles, will they both end up in the same place?
I felt a nudging to stop and look at question one again. Had I missed something? I read the question aloud just to make sure my eagerness to satiate my weeping mother had not clouded my judgment:
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When I would get frustrated with trying to figure out how on earth I would ever graduate,
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, I went back to what I was doing in my first math class: thinking about my future. This proved to be quite a downer too. How would my life work out? How would I get past this summer and what seemed to be an insurmountable barrier? How would I get off academic probation, get my diploma, see and do the things I wanted to experience, and all the other stuff that I was thinking about when I failed grade 10 math the first time?
While all my friends were whooping it up at summer camp, I was at home, alone, in my bedroom, staring at my correspondence lessons. If I could pass this course,
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My mother flung herself on the bed, burst into tears, and assumed a fetal position, all while still clutching my stack of correspondence lessons. Maybe it was a good thing they were still in their protective wrapping—my mother was crying buckets.
I pondered Mary and Frank’s details. I sketched out their journey on my white notepaper. What was the big deal? All Frank had done was turn one single degree to the north. Would that tiny action really have resulted in him not ending up where Mary did? I drew a Mary and a Frank on my notepad. I made sure they were equal in stature just so neither would have an advantage. I got out my pencil and extended an arrow away from Mary due east. I did the same for Frank,
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, with his arrow heading straight northeast. I charted out each step that Mary and Frank made. My eyes moved away from my notepaper and looked out my bedroom window toward the field behind our house. I imagined Mary and Frank walking and walking under the hot summer sun. At the beginning, the two stayed pretty much close together. However,
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, to my surprise, the farther they walked, the farther they moved away from each other.
Question one seemed pretty easy. Actually, it was so simple that I closed my lesson book and checked to make sure I had received grade 10 math correspondence and not a lower level by mistake. The question only required a yes or no, and I proudly put the obviously correct answer of yes and moved on to question two.
My parents informed me via a “family meeting” that academic probation was something that colleges did not appreciate, so I was enrolled in grade 10 math to be completed during the summer break—via correspondence.
My mother left my bedroom whimpering and silently closed the door behind her. Off came the plastic wrap. The correspondence lessons breathed their first breath out of their airtight jail and puffed up in size about two inches. I sat up straight, positioned my coiled ring scribbler into writing mode, grabbed my freshly hand-sharpened HB pencil, and started reading the first section. It was all about comparing distances using geometry.
For the first part of the summer I spent most of my days in my bedroom with my correspondence lessons still enclosed in their airtight plastic wrap,
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, my brand-new coiled notebook cracked open to page one, and me staring out my half-opened bedroom window trying to devise a way I could pass this course without doing any work. Day after day, I failed to come up with a viable plan of action that would get me the results I wanted.
It was during one of these days in late July, after a few hours of lots-of-thinking-and-no-doing, that I decided I deserved a break and went to the kitchen to forage for a snack. When I returned to my summer math haven with sandwich in hand, my mother was standing in my bedroom holding my plastic-wrapped correspondence lessons. I swallowed my unchewed mouthful of sandwich and realized I was in trouble. This would have been a great day to actually have opened that package, I thought. Too late.
Who knew! Frank and Mary did not end up in the same place! At that very moment my bedroom door creaked open,
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, and my mother, all freshened up and with a smile from ear to ear, walked in with a big bowl full of fresh blueberries. She placed the bowl on my notebook, leaving a blue circle stain right over top my artist’s rendition of Frank’s one-degree-of-difference journey. The sudden interruption jolted me away from my vision of Frank and Mary walking under the hot summer sun. I sat there for the rest of the afternoon eating the blueberries one by one until the bowl was completely empty. I thought about all the life pondering I had done during grade 10 math class (round one) and realized that my life did not suck,
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, that I would be more than capable of seeing everything I wanted to see, that I would experience everything I wanted to experience, and accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish. I simply had to turn myself one degree toward the direction I wanted and walk in a straight line. Oh sure,
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, I realized that at the beginning I would not be very far away from everyone else or from where I started. But over time, my one-degree shift would take me miles away from my starting point. Little by little, over time, my one-degree shift would take me where I wanted to go.
My life really sucked. Not only did I not understand how I would get from classroom 202B to everything I wanted in life, I was teetering on the brink of not being able to graduate. Apparently, passing math was required,
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, and since I was failing the class, I was put on academic probation.
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If you think you are going to fail at this diet you are dooming yourself to failure before you even deprive yourself with the first bite. Think about that before you begin because only a true masochist could find pleasure in perpetuating this vicious cycle without ever stopping to wonder why none of the other diets have worked for you. Henry Ford also said,
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The truth is far too few people hold themselves accountable to their dieting and weight loss goals. This means that far too many people are giving up without really ever bothering to give it an effort. If you have an issue holding yourself accountable to your dieting plans, perhaps you would do well to diet with a partner. This helps you not only set goals but also to meet and exceed challenges along the way. A partner can also benefit from the partnership as he or she will be challenged and feel the need to perform better than if he or she were dieting alone.
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When it comes to dieting you will find very few diets that work. You will discover however, many life-style changes that when practiced consistently and aggressively will work. The thing to take into account is that you are the one who must work because it can be quite unlikely that any diet will.
We must all be accountable for our successes and failures in life. It is no different when it comes to dieting. There are few better feelings in the world than for someone to notice and compliment your efforts. If you are very obese unfortunately, it may take a little more time for people to actually notice the weight you've lost. Too many men and women give up simply because no one noticed and that is an incredible shame. Give your dieting practices an opportunity to work before you decide they are a failure and you just might surprise yourself with a roaring success.
You're the one person who can take control of your need to eat,
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There is no greater purpose to diet than on your personal health and well being. Those that are overweight know far better than most the dangers and possible penalties that may result because of our weight. Very much like smokers however,
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Salabmisri is an effective herbal remedy for improving brain power and memory. This potent herb enriched with astringent,
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Patients with poor memory focus are advised to include a good amount of antioxidants,
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Brain power and memory plays a key role in day to day life of person. Healthy lifestyle with good diet and regular exercises helps to a great extend in improving memory power. At present,
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Shatavari, else known as asparagus racemosus is a safe herbal remedy for brain power and memory. Roots and leaves of this herb are mainly used for the preparation of ayurvedic medicines. Shatavari is equipped with lots of health benefits. Some among the main health benefits of consuming shatavari include maintaining hormonal balance, nourishing reproductive system,
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Shankhpushpi is one among the common herbal remedies suggested for improving the brain power and memory of person. It has been used for centuries for the treatment of memory loss. This herbal medicine is a rich composition of alkaloids, sucrose, alkaloids,
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Sesame seed,
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Plan ahead of time: Think about how you’re going to intervene beforehand. Plan it out ahead of time with your spouse; if you’re single, ask another close adult family member to be there with you. When this issue came up with our son, my husband James and I planned out what we were going to say, how we were going to react emotionally, and even where we were going to sit. We decided we were going to be neutral and that we would be as unemotional as possible. We made a decision about what the problem behaviors we wanted to address were. We also decided what the consequences for our son’s behavior would be. We did almost all of this ahead of time.
So pick your battles. Decipher what’s really important versus looking at what’s normal. And again, that often depends on the developmental age of your child. A four–year–old is going to make up big whopping stories as a way to be creative and begin to figure out their world. It’s a normal developmental stage. Seven– and eight–year–olds are going to do some of that as well,
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, but they may have more black and white thinking. So they might say, “I hated that lady” when they simply disliked something that person did. I think you can let those kinds of things slide or just gently correct your child. You can say something like, “Do you mean you didn’t like what she did yesterday?” This type of stretching of the truth is really the result of concrete thinking because kids in this age group don’t have good skills to say something else more neutral or tactful.
I’m a parent too, and I understand that it’s hard not to take that personally or be disappointed. But just remember, your child is trying to solve a problem in an ineffective way. Our job is to teach them how to face their problems head on, and to coach them through these confusing years. Over time, I believe they will learn to do that without lying.
I don’t believe lying in children is a moral issue. I think it’s imperative not to take it personally if your child lies. Most kids don’t lie to hurt their parents; they lie because there’s something else going on. The important part for you as a parent is to address the behavior behind the lie. If you’re taking it personally, you’re probably angry and upset—and not dealing with the more specific information concerning the behavior.
To avoid trouble: Most kids lie at one time or another to get out of trouble. Let’s say they’ve gotten themselves into a jam because they did something they shouldn’t have done. Maybe they broke a rule or they didn’t do something they were supposed to do, like their chores. If they don’t have another way out, rather than suffer the consequences, they lie to avoid getting into trouble.
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While it’s important to address the behavior behind the lying, if your child lies chronically or lies about unsafe, risky or unhealthy behavior, I think it makes sense to address the actual lying by having an intervention. A “lying intervention” is really just a planned and structured conversation about the lying behavior. This lets your child know what you’ve been seeing, and gives you a chance to tell them that you are concerned. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Be aware that kids and adolescents are prone to engage in “magical thinking.” This means that when your child gets away with a few lies, he will start thinking he should be able to get away with them the next time. Often that just feeds on itself, and the lies become more and more abundant—and absurd. Your child might convince himself they’re true in order to get out of the trouble. I also think kids often don’t want to believe they’re lying; no one really wants to be a liar.
I believe it’s really the parent’s job to differentiate the type of lie their child has told, and to make sure that it isn’t connected to unsafe, illegal or risky behavior. This gets to the whole point about picking your battles. If you see your child say to another child, “Oh I really like that dress,” and they later tell you in the car, “I really don’t like that dress,” you might say something to them, but you might also let it go, especially if this is unusual for your child. If they’re lying about something that’s risky or illegal or really unsafe, you definitely have to address it. And if it’s to the point of being really significant—like a lie about risky sexual behavior, drugs, or other harmful activities—you may need to seek some help from a professional.
To get attention: When your child is little and the lies are inconsequential, this behavior may just be his way of getting a little attention. When a small child says,
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, “Mommy, I just saw Santa fly by the window,” I think it is very different from an older child who says, “I finished my homework,” when he really didn’t. Younger children also make up stories during imaginative play, or playing “make believe.” This is not lying but a way for them to engage their imaginations and start to make sense of the world around them.
So the conversation would go something like, “I got a call from the neighbor; they saw you sneaking out of your window. You were falling asleep at the kitchen table this morning at breakfast. But you told us that you were home all night.”And you might then say to your teen, “There’s going to be a consequence for that. You’re not going to be able to stay over at your friend’s house next weekend. And we’re concerned about where you went.” Leave the door open for him to tell you what happened.
How to Address Lying: Staging a “Lying Intervention”
Don’t be too complicated in your message: Keep it very focused and simple for your child; concentrate on the behavior. And then tell him that you want to hear what was happening that made him feel he needed to lie. (You are not looking for an excuse for the lie, but rather to identify the problem your child was having that they used lying to solve.) Be direct and specific. The intervention itself would be quick and to–the–point; you don’t want to lecture your child for a long time. This is just ineffective.
If You Catch Your Child in a Lie…
A Word about “Magical Thinking”
How to Deal with Lying in Children and Teens is reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.
I believe that with kids, lying is a faulty problem–solving skill. It’s our job as parents to teach our children how to solve those problems in more constructive ways. Here are a few of the reasons why kids lie. (Later, I’ll explain how to handle it when they do.)
To individuate from parents: Sometimes teens use lying to keep parts of their lives separate from their parents. At times it may even seem that they make up small lies about things that don’t even seem terribly important. Another reason children lie is when they perceive the house rules and restrictions to be too tight. So let’s say you have a 16–year–old who isn’t allowed to wear makeup, but all her friends are wearing it. So she wears it outside the house, then lies to you about it. Lying may become a way for her to have you believe she’s following your rules and still do “normal” teen activities.
To establish identity: One of the ways kids use lying is to establish an identity and to connect with peers, even if that identity is false. Lying can also be a response to peer pressure. Your child might be lying to his peers about things he says he’s done that he really hasn’t to make him sound more impressive.
Keep the door open: Because the lie is most likely a way your child is trying to problem solve, make sure you indicate that you want to hear what’s going on with him. He may not be ready to talk with you about it the first time you raise the subject—and this is where the neutrality on the parent’s part comes in. You want to be open to hearing what your child or teen’s problem is. You want to create a safe environment for him to tell you during that intervention or that first conversation. But if your child is not ready, it’s important to keep that door open. Create this environment by being neutral and not attacking him.
Here’s an example. Let’s say your child didn’t do his homework but he told you he did. When you find out that he’s lying, he admits he didn’t do it because he was playing sports with friends after school. If you yell at your child about being betrayed and say, “How dare you lie to me,
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,” that’s all you’re going to be able to address. You’re not going to be able to deal with the real issue of your child needing to do his homework before he plays sports. The bottom line is that your anger and frustration about the lie is not going to help your child change his behavior.
Why Kids Lie
Again, in my opinion, the overall reason why kids lie is because they don’t have another way of dealing with a problem or conflict. In fact, sometimes it’s the only way they know how to solve a problem; it’s almost like a faulty survival skill for kids.
Remember, state what you believe based on the facts you have. Do it without arguing, just say it matter–of–factly. “We have this information, we believe it to be true and these are the consequences.”Keep it very simple and hear what your child has to say, but be really firm in what you believe.
Be specific and talk about what’s obvious: When you’re talking with your child,
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When you do talk,
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When you catch your child in a lie,
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, we all do it to some degree. Consider how adults use lies in their daily lives: When we’re stopped for speeding, we often minimize what we’ve done wrong, if not out–and–out lie about it. Why? We’re hoping to get out of something, even if we know better.
Don’t lecture: When you catch your child lying,
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So you’ll see kids who’ve gotten caught smoking at school say,
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, “No, I wasn’t smoking”—even though the smoke is still in the air. And when you’re a kid, you think that if you keep repeating the same thing over and over again, it will be true. But it’s your job as a parent to say as matter–of–factly as possible what you feel is the truth. Acknowledge the lie, but give the consequence for the behavior, not for the lie.
If you catch your child in a problematic lie, I recommend that you not react in the moment. Instead, send him to his room so you can calm down. Talk with your spouse or a trusted friend or family member and come up with a game plan. Allow yourself time to think about it. Remember, when you respond without thinking, you’re not going to be effective. So give yourself a little time to plan this out.
By Janet Lehman, MSW
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Realize that most kids are not going to lie forever and ever. There is a very small percentage of kids who lie chronically. That’s more difficult for parents to deal with, and it requires professional help. In all my years in working with adolescents, there were very, very few kids that I met who lied chronically for no reason. Usually, kids don’t lie arbitrarily; they have a reason for doing so, no matter how faulty that reason might be. Your child really does know right from wrong, but sometimes he overrides the truth.
So lying is not a moral issue; it’s a problem–solving issue, a lack of skill issue,
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, and an avoiding consequence issue. Often kids know right from wrong—in fact, that’s why they’re lying. They don’t want to get in trouble for what they’ve done and they’re using lying to solve their problems. What that means is that they need better skills, and you can respond as a parent by helping them work on their ability to problem solve.
To avoid hurting other’s feelings: At some point, most people learn how to minimize things in order not to hurt other people’s feelings. Instead of saying,
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, “I love your new shoes,” we might say, “Those shoes are really trendy right now.” But kids don’t have the same sophistication that adults do, so it’s often easier for them to lie. I think as adults, we learn how to say things more carefully; we all know how to minimize hurt. But kids don’t know how to do that. Lying is a first step toward learning how to say something more carefully. In some ways, we teach them how to lie when we say, “Tell Grandma you like the present even if you don’t, because it will hurt her feelings otherwise.” We have a justifiable reason—we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings who’s gone out of their way for us—but we are still teaching our kids how to bend the truth.
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