Killing Spree Clan

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By Ernest quansah
See all Articles by Ernest QuansahSee Ernest Quansah&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on LoveGet Updates on Ernest Quansah Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Article Author: Ernest Quansah
This is a story about a woman we will call Anne,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a thirty-five-year-old woman who concluded that she could never find a man. She determined that loneliness was her fate and thus
went as far as accepting it as fact. Her case proves what I have discovered in advising single men and women: it does not matter what your circumstances are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], every man or woman can and is able
to find a happy relationship or reach their potential by making the right choices.
Anne was a very beautiful and educated woman. Beneath her beauty were a lot of problems that I never imagined. She had grown up in a family where she was led to believe that no man would ever want her. She was the best looking and best educated among her family members. Yet for many years she worked in the family business for minimum wage. The sad part was she was willing to work under those terms until the day she died, because she had accepted that she was the black sheep of the family.
One of the ideas I suggested to Anne,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to help her to stop thinking she would never find love, was to start dating. But she was even afraid to date. When the suggestion was made, Anne declined, saying, “But who wants me? No man will date a woman like me.” I tried my very best to let Anne know that she was a very attractive woman. All she needed to do was believe there
was a man out there for her.
She was so concerned that no man would accept her, the thought of having to start dating made her cry. I personally began feeling sorry for her. I could not understand why she was so
afraid to venture outside. I finally reached a point where the only choice I had left in my attempt to help Anne was to give her an ultimatum. I told her: “Anne, you can do it. I am willing
to help you but if you are going to come to me for advice, only to make one excuse after the other, then why bother? Don’t waste my time. Anne, you must try. Give guys a chance to take you out at least in the daytime. If you are concerned, tell someone about your date,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your date’s name and phone number, where you will be going and what time you should be arriving home.
“Don’t let your date pick you up from your mom’s house,” I told her. “Meet him somewhere in the open. This way he does not know where you live and you will not have to worry about him coming to look for you.” I proceeded to tell Anne that unless she was willing to try, I didn’t see any reason why she should continue coming to me for help.
At the same time, I knew a spiritual couple who were visiting from the U.S. I invited Anne to have dinner with me and the couple in the hopes that the woman could befriend Anne. Anne
told me she didn’t have any friends. The only people she saw were myself and a couple of friends I had introduced her to. Unfortunately, none of them wanted to befriend Anne,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because she was so negative about everything. People simply did not want to be around her. After the dinner was over,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we all began to converse.
I had tried to encourage Anne to leave home and be her own woman. As we talked after dinner, the woman began to share a story with Anne. The woman told Anne: “Once there was an eaglet
who grew up with ducks. When the eaglet grew strong wings to fly, the mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You hatched with ducks but you are not a duck. You are an eagle. Eagles don’t walk,
they fly. So fly away to be with eagles…’ The eaglet replied, ‘No, I am not an eagle. I am a duck. I cannot fly.’ The mother duck told the eagle, ‘Yes, you are an eagle. You were hatched by
a duck but you are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eaglet was so afraid to try it replied, ‘No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I cannot fly. I am a duck—if I try to fly, I will fall.’
“The mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You are an eagle. You don’t belong here. Fly and be with your own kind and you will be much happier. Try, please try. Eagles fly, they don’t walk. You are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eagle thought for a minute. It began to stretch and flap its wings. It bounced around a little, then it jumped up and flew. As it lifted off the ground it realized
it could fly and began to soar in the air.”
We all sat and listened to this emotional story. I know I wept and so did Anne. I cared about Anne so much. I wanted her to find happiness. Not long after and with a little encouragement
and support, Anne moved out of her parents’ basement. She found her own apartment and a full-time job at a local hotel. She began to date and met a man who cared for her. Although it was
difficult and frightening at first, Anne tried and when she did,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she soared.
This real-life example shows that we can all find happiness and success if we choose to make the choices and do the things that bring us happiness and success. Anne only found success when she left her comfort zone and tried. In your love life, the only way to experience true failure is if you don’t try, if you give up or try to hide behind excuses and justifications.
The eaglet eventually flew with eagles instead of walking with the ducks. This means, for example in relationship, you can find love with your appropriate mate—not just any man or woman for the sake of having a lover. You can live your potential. But settling for unhealthy and mediocre relationships is not a way to find happiness. You can achieve your true potential in all
things if do your part.
You can tell from Anne’s story that despite her upbringing and life experiences,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she was able to find happiness by making choices that brought her happiness. When Anne left her comfort
zone (like the eagle leaving the ducks), she reached her potential.
Do you make choices that bring you stress and disappointments? Do you settle for relationships that bring you misery? What is your emotional well-being worth to you? Decide the kind of life and relationships you want,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Then you will know what you need to do.
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Seventy-five percent of respondents agreed that they don’t think big enough about their work or business, and of those that do have big dreams, 75% of respondents indicated that they lack the follow-through in order to make them happen. Further,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], over 85% of respondents noted that they don’t know where to start or what steps to take to make them happen.
4. Determine what action steps will help move you forward. List them and include a target start date, target end date, and resources for completing them.
When it comes to thinking big, remember the words of Mother Theresa,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind. Think big anyway.” So, what are you waiting for?
5. Select one action step and do it today!
It wasn’t for Caroline Bessette Kennedy, the late wife of John F. Kennedy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jr. While growing up she dreamed of marrying a billionaire. The result? She landed one of America’s most eligible bachelors who also happened to be a millionaire to boot. Some of you are probably saying, “That may be true,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but look at the tragedy that befell them.” My response: at least she died living her dream. That’s the power of thinking big.
In my survey last month, I asked my readers to share their opinions on the power of thinking big.
2. Visualize yourself successfully bringing your idea or dream to life. What will you look like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? How will you feel? Where will you be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Let me illustrate. Think back to when you were a child. Perhaps you dreamed that one day you would grow up, get married,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and have children. A nice dream, right? And many of you have likely achieved some version of that dream. But what if you had dreamed instead that you would grow up and marry a billionaire? Sounds crazy, right?
1. Write down all of your big ideas/ dreams. Say them out loud. Share them with a trusted friend or advisor.
Here are some additional tips for thinking big: Don’t seek validation from others (they may not always agree with you or support you). Do seek out and create a support infrastructure (role model,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], coach, other big thinkers) to support your ideas and dreams and to help you craft and implement your plan of action. Do take risks and step out of your comfort zone. People who are comfortable taking risks typically experience increased autonomy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], heightened self-esteem,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a more positive attitude toward life and an increased sense of personal power. The positive outcomes of thinking big and taking risks far outweigh any discomfort or fear you may have.
It has often been said that bigger is not always better. That may be true when considering automobiles and the current price of gas, but it is never true when it comes to new ideas or personal dreams where thinking big is always better.
3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Establish goals for how you will go about achieving them. Make them “SMART” goals and you will be more likely to achieve them.
According to Kathy Gillen,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an executive coach who helps successful entrepreneurs become dynamic leaders, in order to think big, you need to “ remove the ‘heebie-jeebies’ about stepping forward and doing what is uncomfortable.” How can we do that? Gillen recommends a simple technique. She says, “Change your focus from your internal fears ("I might make a mistake or look stupid"), to an external focus ("I'm making a huge contribution!") It’s that simple.”
When working with clients, I always suggest that they do the following:
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