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By Christopher R. Edgar
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I’m not saying we should be critical toward others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or take revenge on those who put us down. As I’ll discuss later, that’s just another way of giving in to the inner critic — by merging with or embodying it. But I do think learning to say a forceful, unapologetic “no” can bring us a refreshing sense of creative freedom.
When I work with people who are having trouble starting a project,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is often an area where they feel blocked. They don’t trust their ability to protect themselves against mistreatment. They feel reluctant to “put their work out there” because they don’t think they can handle the criticism that might come their way.
Yet another reason the ability to say “no” is important is that it allows us to set, and enforce, our own priorities. Often,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I’ve noticed, people who are having trouble starting creative projects say they “just can’t find the time.” However, the reason they “can’t find the time” is usually that they’re afraid to refuse others’ requests.
When they experiment with declining requests, and get comfortable with the feelings that come up when they do that, the book or business they’ve been “planning” for years ceases to look like such a daunting undertaking.
Why is it so hard for many people to stand up to abuse, whether from within or from others? For one thing, I think many of us, growing up, were shamed or punished for saying “no,” or “talking back.” Many of us came to believe we were not allowed to set boundaries with others, and perhaps that it was “spoiled” and “childish” to do so.
Priorities Depend On Boundaries
I think another benefit of learning to say a powerful “no” — which may seem like a paradox — is that criticism doesn’t make us as angry when we develop this ability. Work, and life in general, take on more ease when we know we can handle ourselves if we’re attacked — in a way that’s similar,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I think,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to the quiet self-assurance of a martial arts master.
Whenever someone calls on the phone, for instance, they can’t bring themselves to let the call go to voicemail. Nor can they be the one to end the conversation. After all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the other person might feel neglected,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and become angry and critical.
Often, if they can release their inhibition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and let out a loud, firm “no,” they not only feel empowered — the project they’ve been putting off starts to look less scary and more doable. Because they know, from firsthand experience, that they can set clear boundaries with others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the prospect of criticism no longer frightens them so much.
It’s also unsurprising that these people suffer greatly at the hands (or maybe “claws” is the better word) of their inner critic. Because they don’t feel capable of standing up to the critic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and they know how viciously the critic will savage their work, they understandably find it easier not to start projects they’re interested in.
Author's Bio:
When I work with someone dealing with this issue, one thing we often explore is how it feels for them to say “no.” I tend to find that, even if the person is alone with me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and there are no judgmental or critical people within earshot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they still feel some shame around doing this. They don’t look me in the eye as they say it, and their “no” comes out soft and weak.
The Power of “No”
If someone told you that a piece you wrote is garbage and you’re a moron for writing it, could you object to their behavior?
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By Elina Joshef,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
See all Articles by Ruhi BanerjeeGet Updates on DatingGet Updates on Ruhi Banerjee Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
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Online Dating is one of the best ways to meet exciting, interesting and unique singles from across continents. It’s amazing how online dating sites have created an environment where no matter what your fears are, if you are shy or timid,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], perhaps have not as much self confidence or esteem as the next person. Online dating has created a venue where singles from diverse backgrounds have the same opportunity to create that allusive first impression on another individual through the web.
When trying to meet like minded people or your ideal partner such as a soulmate, free online dating has made this possible through their advanced matching system. This advance matching system is done through a chemistry assessment test where each new member is asked to complete a serious of questions. The majority of dating free sites implement this as a mandatory field and in order to begin browsing millions of profiles, every member must complete this section. How well or honest each member completes these serious of questions will play a role in how everyone is matched and therefore it is highly recommend that everyone who is looking to become a member on a 100% free dating site,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do this with some care and thoughtfulness.
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First, I want to reference "The You" and what it is specifically and why is it so important. First "The You" is not the physical aspects such as the color of your hair, shape of your nose or body size but the unique spiritual energy we refer to it as your spirit, your soul or essence.

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